Helping the GOP in Time of Need

I haven't been really blogging for awhile, but once again with a presidential election upon us and the eve of another high school football season, I was start to get back on track.

I found an old post from 2006 and thought I would cross the aisle and help out the GOP in their time of need. 

So since they insist they want religion to have the force of law, here are my suggestions in a form they may recognize:

1.) Thou shall not steal. (This includes elections, not just money)

2.) Thou shall not bear false witness. No more lying to the American public, especially about getting us into a new war (Iraq).  Oh, and that means no more untruthful attacks on your opponents, either.

3.) Thou shall cease war on women.  Record your bullshit first. Listen to it. If it sounds bad to you, it is bad for yourself.

4.)  Thou shall not murder.  That means everyone: Iraqis and Palestinians too.

5.) Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.  Now, some people interpret this to mean no cursing.  I think God gets pissed from time to time when His name is used as cover for nefarious purposes. 'Nuff said!!!

6.) Thou shall not have strange gods before me. Money and power, boys, it trips you up every time.

7.) Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's House.  Sounds like you work with the other side of the aisle in the spirit of cooperation!

8.) Honor thy father and mother.  You kiss your mother with that mouth? Would your father be proud of you for stealing and cheating your way to the top?  What, were you raised by wolves???

9.) Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day.  Don't go on the Sunday morning talk shows and defile the airwaves with lies and bullshit!  Try sincerity, eventually the people will like it.

10.) Thou shall not make unto thee any graven image.  Stop worshipping the elephant guys and stop putting it above everything else.